Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops