Did u know that 10/10 people die?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock whos there open open who the door

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops