Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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