kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the cat black it was a black cat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the jewish boy afraid of ovens? because he developed an irrational fear of kitchen appliances. he would later, as an adult seek counseling and overcome his fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops