What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

Glad to hear from you too (should I call you sister now? Thats gonna be a bit rough, but I guess I was never old enough to be your stepfather either this is making my headache worse, I sure as hell wont suicide... That unless you do not call my wife that is... Nah, its just that from what we have been seeing from the cams, these guys are killing people left and right, and well, if anyone of them kill the cops, these bad boys are going to kill everybody, and they obviously mean it. (Well I have also seen a lot of cartoon crocodiles playing the guitar on the wall which might come help us in a pinch, but it might sadly just be the fever). What I am trying to say, is that if my boys are as rusty as I arm (got it?) then they wont make it without the main man, actually, while I personally never wanted to fight for my people literally, especially not to the death, much of this is my fault too, I should have demanded that little bitches such as your father do as I say, or just leave the plac Never got the cigar joke huh? I always told you I am going to smoke my first last cigar the day I know I am gonna die, and while I did not mean it literally then, well... Its not a cigar its a stick of some very high explosive whose name I remember when I am not you know... Crocodilles, hey, its even Mickey Mouse there... Finally a chance to kill that piece of shit. Or maybe I wont smoke it, got to ask my "shadows" how strong it really is, I wont want to kill both of the assholes that got me, and every single of my followers in the process, good thing we got a nice bunch of members huh? And that many are here, and others found their way out somehow, because if we had less, they would all be dead by now... And I cant do shit, problem with my boys, is that they will do much better at infiltrating the place if they know of all the secret entrances and exits this paranoid son of a literal shedog put around... And look at them "Neronists" finally appreciating them as they get out of the place trough them. Well not all our places got them, told you I should have demanded what I wanted rather than... Never mind... Honestly, call my "shadow people" and them my wife, not sure how long I want to look at those that chose to follow me into what has already become a massacre, so if I make it, I will make sure those that remain not only listen, but actually fucking heed me or gtfo! It might just be the jaw hurting like hell again, but after this there wont be no Mr.Nice guy again... Not that there really was, I am just saying my new attitude will make people remember me as a pretty nice guy in comparison. I wont kill your father, seems like he will be suffering for life now, he knows he had many chances to change things around and now and he knows it might just be too late now. Either that, or that I decided to break all of his fingers after he attacked me... How dare a tall big man, attack a poor feverish crippled, demented, psychopath with a broken jaw... Did not help the thoughtless son of a bitch tried to punch me in... The Jaw... either. Damn, I was thinking about getting into action asap, but these "Black Shadows" wont get here in like two days, and then its two days to get back... Listen, id love a response, but I just got more of these medications "for my fever" but my jaw does not hurt anymore, and I am falling asleep, so either some douche pulled a roofie on me or that other pill I took was a painkiller. Take care, and remember, I always got a backup plan if the backup plan fails, aaaaaaand as I am starting to get very "whooly" in the head, I am just thinking: Nah if I get shot a lot, there is always Robocop right? Nerocop? Okay I assume this is just for robots and police officers, sorry to say this before I go nitenite, but should I tell you to call the cops on these guys? They have filled the place with explosives, its like a fucking die hard movie except with a lot less broken glass and... Not so many dead yet, I mean things have calmed down now that our vets are done struggling, sigh... Them veterinarians being all macho and not really defending themselves... Or was it war veterans... Mr Crocodile number seven is telling me that I should stop making fun of people dying (but people die all the time!) or else I wont get to kill Mickey Mouse. Anyway, holy crap these meds are strong as hell, my mouth is foaming like shit and I need to end because I am standing even though I cant feel my legs... Oh right, I am sitting holy crap! Take care girl, at this rate ill be remembered as the certain one that supposedly makes incredible promises, but then takes people`s souls... You know... GOD? *Cant stop laughing* Sorry just trying to find something profound to say, maybe some mighty last words such as... Oh right I am going to contact you tomorrow... ...Talk about "mighty" "last" words... I cant feel my... Well lets just say I better go take a leak just in case... I hope I was not always this much of a loudmouth fuck... I mean... Nah you turned out just fine after all... Its time you got to bed too, dont reply, call my wife, then call my brother, and tell him that he is a piece of shit, and that if I die, ill be waiting for him in hell... And then kill him for me. I believe his weakness is a bullet to the head. See you around, nitenite. Ps: Ironically no coding here, its just that while I cant stop talking, I cant speak nor shout either, cant move my feet, maybe breaking that baggots hands was a bad idea... This is like 15 minutes later, a couple of fucking nurses are gonna help me when I am done writing, two male nurses blargh, maybe they will just let me stay here if I keep on typing for all of eternity... Never mind, I typed in big letters "Get me those pretty female ones!" and then apparently did not delete it, they left, hopefully something... Lol... "Promise them a better life, and then claim their souls so they might eternally serve you" The Black Angel Or God? WHEN I survive I am gonna go back to posting these FACTS every once in a while here again. God Mathew 0:69 I believe... Sorry I keep forgetting who I am typing to, and my hands are so numb I cant mash the space butoon, oh wait its delete, or backspa... Anyway chat you up tomorrow kiddo.

why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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