what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

PENIS that is all

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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