Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Knock knock *open*

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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