what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Your girlfriend.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops