- Anti Joke

I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

Who's gay? Justin Beaver

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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