Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

anti-joke.ru - russian style

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

What is 33 + 1? Penis

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

What are blacks scared of? The kkk

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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