Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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first

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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whos district champs not JM

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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black chicken. kfc

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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