a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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