Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Who invented apple? God

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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