A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is a jew in space? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Actual jokes are now obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops