That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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A Man thought it was a good day and to go on anti-joke.com then he saw a post that had a link. This man was you and the link was http://minedgamez.tk/beta/ The man then clicked the link and fucking laughed so hard xD. She died in a car crash. Then a pickle appeared. It was then eaten by you not realizing it was actually a hamster.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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