Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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aodhan hearty

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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Robert Mugabe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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