roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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96

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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