"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops