- Anti Joke

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack