What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

Y' can't spell rape without ape.

G:nock nock B:come in!

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

seek beauty

Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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