How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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women's rights.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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I just drank a cola.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Sarah Palin.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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