A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops