Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

AND

Not a joke.

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

what do you call your mama at the gas station

What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...