What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Cows are land manatees.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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