Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

Double-whammy

Dude man, I'm high...

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Knock, Knock! Go away!

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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