Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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A blind man watches TV

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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