what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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okay so theres this guy.

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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