What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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