What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

Good to see you today!

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

My mom touched my wiener : \

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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