How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Miami Heat.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Yo Mamma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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