How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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The NBA lockout

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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girls basketball

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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