Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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The NBA lockout

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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