3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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pedophile

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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