What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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123457

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Jesus wept.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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