Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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