Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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