- Anti Joke

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

hi

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

Arrow to the Knee

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

lebron

A man walks around a bar.

"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

69.9

What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops