How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

Hi

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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