What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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