How's your mum? she's dead..

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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pedophile

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops