A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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I went to the store and I fell

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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i was molested.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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Religion

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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