What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why? Because racecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops