Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What rhymes with you? You.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Religion

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Women's rights.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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