Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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women's rights

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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