what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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Kony 2012

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What?

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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