Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops