what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Women's Rights

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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