Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops