Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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