Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Religion

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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