a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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whats annoying and black? black people

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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America Votes

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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