What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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here kitty kitty

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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88

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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