what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

Chikin nuggets

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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