Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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pedophile

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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