Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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thumbs up!

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops