What color is a banana? yellow.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Arrow to the Knee

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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