"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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The economy.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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123457

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops