what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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